Apparently there was some interest in my hugging thesis. There’s nothing scientific about this at all. Just conclusions based on my own observations and ample pondering time. Though this should also keep in mind that there are people in this world who are less fond of being touched and while all the emotions exist in them, this inhibits their willingness to hug. For those souls, I’m sure they use one of the other four love languages to express themselves.
There are three aspects to every hug that each demonstrate a different but closely related emotion.
The amount of physical contact conveys your level of comfort with the person and/or situation. Even spouses who should have the ultimate level of comfort with each other might only wrap their arms around the shoulders in a crowd of people.
The tightness shows an almost subconscious level of excitement or intensity. Though this does not necessarily imply that they are going to break you in half. It’s quite possible to be both gentle and tightly hugging at the same time.
Duration is a direct correlation to the closeness of the relationship. With the duration, you either receive or give a sense of approval. The people in whom we confide and respect the most are the ones we desire the most to approve and to connect with us.
Now to show these properties in the various types of hugs, consider a side hug of the shoulder versus a side hug of the body. There’s a top hug which is shoulder based but from the front (This is how girls tend to hug each other.) The criss-cross arm hug which is firmly in the friend category. A full hug has several permutations such as the bear hug, a romantic hug or a comforting hug. Bear hugs are the tightest by definition and generally are reserved for celebration, excitement to see someone, or anticipating a long departure.
I want to ponder more on how and why the romantic hug and the comforting hug are so similar. Really the difference between the two depends on the context and the relationship between the two people. And there’s no denying the overtly metaphoric nature of hugging someone from behind as it demonstrates a loyalty and willingness to protect.
i can't say as i'm a fan of the hugs. well, unless it's that special someone. but hugs in general, not so much. then again i have no heart so what do i know ;o)
I loved reading that...it's all true. Atleast from what I know about myself and how I choose to hug people. Another aspect, which I'm not sure how it would work in with your points, is intention of the hugger towards the huggie....ha! Some hug to get comfort, others hug to give comfort. And some people are careful about how much body contact they have...usually it's regarding the opposite sex. I dunno. Nice thoughts though Jo! And Thad Clevenger lives in Costa Mesa now, really close to where J and I live! It was crazy to see him at services @ Tustin! Crazy I say!
